Mother Love

"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." -Mother Teresa

This week, in the wake of political and spiritual controversies, debates over magazine covers and articles, my mind has been reeling. I've been trying to find some real perspective. I think we all are. Yes, we all need it! Our community, our society, our nation needs to gain some real, true perspective on what's really important.

Two of my favorite bloggers, Stephanie Precourt and Lovelyn Palm, are featured in the clip below (and in my sidebar) and I hope that as you read and watch it you are dealt a blow to your heart and soul like I was today. We all need, once in a while, some glimmer of light to be shed on what is true and real in this life beyond just opinions and ideas (and I've got lots of 'em too!), and surface and shallow, and agenda and propaganda, and he said/she said, and blah blah blah. There is a Truth to be gained, you know? There are things that are real and right, and not just what we see on the surface or even what we think or believe down deep based on all of our knowledge and understanding. There are things bigger than all of us!

Here is a beautiful reminder of what it's all really about.

May we all strive to be better than we are, individually and as a whole. May we cease to point the finger, or make our own side heard even louder, just long enough to learn how to really LOVE.

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Have a wonderful Mother's Day weekend, and hug your babies tight. Love them big.

19 months, 1 week and 1 day {A Letter}

My little big man,

So little and so big, you are. You're growing every day, hour, minute, right before our eyes. You're more than amazing! I want you to always know that. You are a gift to my heart and my life, and you are a gift to the world, because God made you so very special.

You've been up to so very much lately. Over the past few months in particular, you've gone from baby to boy, and from stage to stage to stage in a way I never expected ...

Since about 17 months old, you've been sleeping better than you ever have in your life! We don't know exactly how or why, but more sleep has made you a happier, more relaxed little person, and we're so relieved to see that in you! You still have your days now and then, but you take hour long naps (or more) almost always now! At night time we go through your bedtime routine of bath, lotion and jammies. Then I get your cup of milk and your Lovey and say "Let's go read a book!". You happily march into the bedroom and sit with me to read one of your bedtime books (usually Just Go To Bed). Then I say, "Let's say our prayers", sit you in my lap and pray, and you sit quietly, knowing that I'm saying important words, but not to you. Somehow I think you know how special those prayers are. Then I pick you up, hug and kiss kiss kiss you, say "Night night Baby Boy. Mama loves you.", and sit you in your bed. I watch you lay down while I push the button on your rain forest light and cover you with your blanket, then leave you to your dreams. These are some of the greatest moments of my day, every day. Not even because you're going to sleep, but because I'm watching your person-hood grow with each passing night during these moments, as you watch and listen to me. Because I'm praying over you with my whole heart. Because I'm seeing your trust in me, and your sense of security increase more and more the older you get, and then I know how much you love me. These are some of the greatest moments in my life.

Along with more sleep has come much more cuddling. You were not a snuggly cuddly baby, and I used to feel a little sad about that. You're making up for it now, though, and looove snuggling up to Daddy or me, like to be picked up just because, and enjoy sleeping close to us at night (when you often times wake up and move to our bed for the rest of the night - but then sleep well past 6am these days!!!). You are most content when we are all together! ... And yet, you are also more independent. You very often clean up toys that are out, sometimes because you are asked and sometimes just because. You put them all in their designated container and clap for yourself. So we clap and praise you, and enjoy you to pieces! We expect you to take care of your things now, and more often than not you willingly obey when asked to pick up something you've left behind or thrown down, or to give us something that you may not play with. About half the time you share toys with friends, and often take a toy (or something else that you find valuable) to a crying or upset playmate. This is something that we never modeled or asked of you, and I love seeing that childish compassion in you.

You are loud and boundless! You are so much the same and yet so different from me. The same with Daddy - so similar, yet so different. We marvel at you constantly! So curious and inquisitive, and one of your favorite things to say is "Whassat?!" Whether you know the answer or not, you love to talk about and learn about things and people, so we always answer you, or ask you back, and have conversations about who everyone is and what everything does. You eat it up! You love flipping through books, watching movies, dancing to music, exploring outside, and being around people. Your favorites are Mickey Mouse Clubhouse anything(!), "The Wheels on the Bus", "The ABC song", bubbles, balls, "Cars" anything, animals and their sounds, pushing buttons that make sounds, putting things into containers, building with blocks, and running or wrestling around. You say - or try to say - more and more words every week, and your vocabulary has now reached 40-50 words! You've recently gotten more interested in little figurines and character toys, and in Elmo and all his friends. You are absolutely obsessed with stars, and can spot one from a mile away. It cracks us up! You just started stacking things, and I don't even know where you learned that! You just started doing it, and I was so impressed! You also have a new found interest in coloring and learning about letters/letter sounds, and a new love for puzzles. I absolutely love watching you learn more about how things go together, and seeking and finding. It's such a cool experience watching your little wheels turning as you figure things out!

Even in moments of correction or tears, you are growing and learning, and Mommy and Daddy right along with you. We're a team. We're a family.

Lots of changes are coming soon for you and for all of us, Little Mister. Always know, though, we're in this together! You're going to be an amazing big brother, and I can't wait to see what more the future holds for your little self, my big boy.

Mommy loves you, with such a big love.